You have no idea.
Sometimes, it’s just so hard to overlook some things. Like a unibrow, someone doing a Jagerbomb by themselves, or a pair of battling pigeons (that’s what they look like they’re doing, okay). And then, there’s that occasional gush of bitterness that overwhelms for a split second. You know what I’m talking about; it’s that moment when your sentence gets cut off because someone of ‘more importance’ has walked through the door, or when someone changes the radio station in the car in the middle of your favorite song, or how about when you realize your words time and again fall upon deaf ears.
In that split second, you’re stunned by the insensitivity and ignorance of the entire human race, and it feels like all the major and minor deities have decided to collectively slap you in the face. And then, the second after that, you find yourself feeling a bit weary and overlooked. Yes, you, you’re the one now getting overlooked. There are 86,400 seconds in a day; if you split that in half, that means there are potentially 172,800 maximum amount of times in a single day where you could experience that .5 second moment of complete defeat. And you’re unable to overlook it.
That’s a lot of negativity. A LOT.
Apparently, according to dailymail.co.uk, researchers actually found that harboring bitterness will make you physically sick. Like, constipated, headache-y, acne-inducing kind of sick. Basically, it pretty much sounds like bitterness is the most counterproductive thing ever. I personally like to think of it as an emotion that is on a sliding scale between the annoying pain of a hangnail and the helpless feeling of defeat one has when going home to a cat that despises you.
Here are some tried (by me) and true things that may help you combat the .5 second bitterness rush:
Immediately go on eBay and buy yourself a giraffe onesie. Or whatever other animal/character that strikes your fancy. I promise you, once you click that ‘Buy It’ button, the bitterness will disappear quicker than Britney Spears’ acting career.
this one is mine.
Quickly make a harmless joke about something to someone. Text your friend, whisper to your coworker, call your mom, etc.
The grunting in women’s tennis is comedic gold.
Entertain yourself with the thought of an unbelievably sweet job/inhumanly hot other half/ridiculously lavish lifestyle. Or, you could do as a I do and get all three of those in one well-packaged deal, and envision yourself as Tony Stark aka Iron Man.
Pretty sure RDJ is actually Iron Man.
Last, but not least, and this one is going to the easiest one on the list, but the hardest to bring yourself to do:
Yours truly.
Make a funny face.
You thought I was going to say ‘breath,’ didn’t you?
Come on now, I’m a blogger. Not your mother. Or therapist. Or school counselor.
Do it though. I swear to you that it works.
